Campaign for Something-Less-Than-Plain English

I work with some very bright people. Many of them are very bright scientists. However, this can sometimes lead to problems; if they believe the understand how something works (and they are wrong) they cannot start to comprehend any explanation of how it actually works.

No, they understand it, so therefore what I'm saying, if it differs from their understanding, is as a matter of course incorrect.

The only way I can get my message across is by not talking about the actual issue, but by using an analogy and leaving them to apply it. Which they invariably do, very rapidly. Well, they are bright, after all.

For example ....

The scientists/ researchers fill in forms in en electronic system, which come through to me for validation. A major update of the system worked only on forms started after the update (i.e. forms they had started filling in beforehand were still in the old format even if they were finished and submitted after the update). However, some months later we were still receiving "old" forms, which shouldn't have been the case. It dawned on me that they were using a past "successful" application, then just over-writing the parts that related to the new application.

They were, however, insistent that this was a new application.

"You must have used an old form".

"It's a brand new application!"

"But did you use a previous form?"

"I've already told you, I only started it last week!"

Ok, this isn't working. "Imagine you have a twelve year old piece of paper with writing on it. You take an eraser and rub out the writing, then write something new on it. How old is the piece of paper?"

"Oh! ....You mean I should have gone with "Start new submission rather than one I did four year ago!"

And again.

They are applying for permission to conduct research at NHS sites, and have to list the legal entities responsible for those sites on the application form. Frequently they list the actual sites, which means that the software will not work properly, so I ask them to correct it.

"But I'm not doing my research there".

"No, but that's the legal body responsible for the research site, so that's what you list".

"But I'm doing my research somewhere else!"

Ok, here we go again. "Imagine your child is going on a school trip. They bring a consent form home from school, and you sign it to say they can go. That doesn't mean that you're going on the trip!"

"That makes sense now. Thank you!"

But the one that my colleagues like best (so far) escaped from my mouth earlier this week.

The system that the researchers use is not the same one that I use, but a gateway system. This means that they can prepare forms, upload documents, etc., in their system, but until they actually press the "Submit" button, I can't access them.
On a particular submission, I had asked for particular documents three ties, explaining each time that they had to be uploaded and submitted, and by this point the researcher was getting as frustrated as I was that I was still asking for them.

"But they're in the public area. You should be able to see them."

"But I don't have access to that system. You need to transfer them from your system to mine".

"But I've already uploaded them!"

Ok, how to explain this. "Imagine you've written a letter. You put a stamp on it, and put it on your hall table. If you don't put it into the post box, when is it going to reach me?"

Five minutes later, the documents transferred across.

So the moral is - don't talk to scientists about what they think they know; talk to them about their home lives.

Or, to put it another way: imagine a researcher is a human being ....