Review of 2008

Well, it's almost the end of another year, so it's time to review some of the little things that have made me smile over the last year. It's been quite a fraught and stressful year at times (although the insurance company has finally paid up for the accident in August thanks in no small measure to our wonderful friend Roger), but there have been some small moments in passing that stand out.

1) My lovely ex-colleague Rachael is very bright - a PhD in fact - but sometimes the obvious escapes her. Like the time she was doing some paperwork and asked me "What's the date?" I replied "It's the 4th". A slight pause, then " So when's the 6th?" "Two days' time". Another pause. "Are you sure?"

2) Checking Luc's questions on his ebay sales when his items were described as "10 x 12g canisters of CO2" I saw two questions from different people on the same evening. Question 1 was "Are they unused?" (well, if they'd been used they wouldn't have CO2 in them any more, would they?) and question 2 was "Do I get 10?"

3) A rather flustered hotel waiter (and who wouldn't be flustered having to serve my entire family for two consecutive meals?) in Spalding stumbled and commented "I nearly dropped the whole tray!" to which my brother Nic mumbled in return "Dropping half the tray would have been a better trick."

4) Being told about a lunchtime conversation between my former colleagues a couple of months after I'd left. They were discussing reincarnation, and one person said "If I'm ever reincarnated I'd like to come back as a cat". To which someone else replied "I want to come back as Jane's cat!" Ok, I admit they are both a bit indulged, but then they're both rescued and they do plenty for us by their presence. And on that note ....

5) Waking up one morning to find I couldn't move. There was nothing physically wrong with me, but Snowball was curled up on my upper back and Dyson was between my legs and across my ankles.

6) Three of us spent a very pleasant afternoon at a Feline Park. After a couple of hours, the felinae and pantherinae jokes kicked in, for example "I wouldn't believe anything that animal tells you - he's lion" and "You'll like the next enclosure. Ocelot, but you'll like it. " After a short while our friend had had enough, and stomped off a few paces ahead. So Luc turned to me and said (just loud enough to be heard by friend) "You know her problem? She has no sense of puma!"

7) At a car show, we came across one of those bright, shiny, over-accesorised "boy toys" you sometimes see about the place (to be precise, it was a PT Cruiser - but then it would be) - eliciting the comment "Cor! Look at the Halfords on that!"

8) After Luc's spectacular shooting at the French harvest festival ('First impressions and a festival', September 08) the young boy who had been watching him (and had overheard me speaking French to the man in charge of the gallery) asked me "Il est Anglais?" "Non, il est Gallois". "Oooohh!" A true hero was born, in the form of a Welsh marksman, clearly a survivor of English oppression!

9) Both our cats like to check out anything we're eating, which usually means coming over for a good sniff and then wandering off to have a grooming session in the middle of the room. This grooming was especially necessary after the item of interest - vigorously sniffed by Dyson - was a box of Turkish Delight. Icing sugar on a wet nose takes some effort to remove.

10) The morning after the Captain Hilts episode ('You'll still be here when I get out?', December 08), Luc 'phoned a reptile rescue and adoption centre to ask about adopting a Bearded Dragon expecting the usual questions to establish whether he was serious, equipped and capable of looking after one. Except the questions never arose after a conversation which went something like this.

Rescue centre: I'll give you the name of the lady you need to speak to."

Luc: "Can you hold on while I ... "

Rescue centre (interrupting): "..... get a pen."

Luc: "No. Get a millipede off my desk."

Rescue centre (after a slight pause): "As you do ....."

11) Getting Spot the gecko with Bruce and Sheila (the two beardies). He's not the most sociable of animals, but then neither are we.


And that about wraps it up for 2008. Unless, of course, something happens in the next few days, so don't hold me to that.